Hey everybody, welcome back. Thanks for reading my blog.
One of the best feelings ever is when I’m hanging out with my little girl and she falls asleep right on my chest as I lay on the couch. I can’t describe this feeling with any other word except beautiful.
I absolutely love staying home with my girl. The only drawback to staying home with her is that it’s usually when she’s sick. If it wasn’t for her being sick, I wouldn’t get to spend the day with her. Talk about bitter-sweet… but I love the bonding.
Now, in Module 3 of A Living System ™️ I talk about how important relationships are, and as a parent, my relationship with my children is right up there with my marriage. I was thinking about this today as I was out running errands and adulting. I thought of this as I went to visit my good friend Izzy, a successful barber, soon to be husband, and father of two wonderful boys (see Izzy’s business info at the bottom of this post).
So, I was driving through Lowell on my way to his shop to give him the second shipment of clothes that I had purchased as a Christmas gift for him. For some reason the order was broken into two shipments. Anyways, as I was driving, I looked around the city and it reminded me a little of my hometown, Lawrence.
Nostalgia set in and my mind began to run in analytical mode as I started thinking of how a lot of my old friends (not including Izzy) are still living the same lifestyle as we were in our early twenties, except now we’re all in our thirties and most of us have children. I imagined their children watching and learning from their parents as they behave, speak, and live. Being who I am, I couldn’t help but imagine speaking to our younger selves, mentoring us on readjusting our priorities and getting a head-start on life and success so we’d be excellent examples to our children.
After my mental visualiztion and internal dialogue finished, I came to realize that a lot of people hold onto a false sense of loyalty to their city, the people they hang around with, and a lifestyle that does not do them any favors. This false sense of loyal also gives birth to a blanket of guilt which keeps them at bay whenever they think of moving forward in life. It’s as if they would be disrespectful and disloyal if they were to improve their lives and move out of their hometown, doomed forever to be marked as deserters, guilty of betrayal.
I thought about this deeper. What is it that truly inhibits these people? Why is it some people grow and strive for more while others fall into stagnation?
In Module 5 of A Living System ™️ I talk about Habitual Thinking and where this stems from. It all stems from a person’s belief system. The true self-imposed inhibition is a person’s lack of self-belief. They simply don’t believe in themselves, and because they lack the self-belief, they seek external validation. This is why they hold dear to their false sense of loyalty to their hometown, friends, and lifestyle that serves them nothing but disservice.
I share this awith certainty and conviction because I’ve lived it and it wasn’t until my late twenties that I was able shake myself free of these footholds and confront my own beliefs. It took me years before I was able to look in the mirror and take the mask off and truly see what and who I was. Only then was I able to genuinely start my growth and begin evolving.
If you’re faced with this struggle, my advice is this: look deep inside of yourself and asking yourself what really matters to you. After identifying your priorities, acknowledge what you need to change, add, and/or remove in/to/from your life to being growing into the person you want to be, the person you want your children to be like, and the live the lifestyle you actually want to live.
For those of you in the area, visit Izzy for a haircut in Dracut, MA.
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© 2018 Clinton N. Downs